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Thursday, 9 October 2014

The Great NFL Pigskin Pick 'Em: Pink Wash October

Happy Thursday to you, fellow NFL junkies. In case you hadn't noticed, it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month! I know, you probably missed that memo but I'm glad I could be here to remind you of breast cancer. Because if I didn't, surely this disease would go completely unnoticed.

I know I'm being cynical, but it's hard to take October at face value when you read about the insidious things the organizations behind the annual "pink washing" do to other charitible organizations and you realize that they aren't putting on these elaborate events and making these mega-partnerships with organizations like the NFL purely out of the goodness of their hearts. They're making boku bucks! We're talking HUGE money, folks. 

You might be saying to me, "screw you, isn't the point to raise money for breast cancer research?" Why yes, yes it is, except ZERO dollars raised actually go to research. They go toward awareness. What's the difference? 

Awareness is the slick commercials highlighting famous women with breast cancer before kickoff on Sundays.
Awareness is the pink wrist bands and ribbons people wear on their person and their vehicles.
Awareness is hashtags, Facebook posts, relevant instagram photos and photoshoots.
Awareness is the pink gloves, cleats, towels and sweatbands used by the players on the field.

So then what is research? Research is the people you never see spending hours in a lab with no fanfare or touchdowns. Research isn't sexy and it doesn't sell jerseys, pink or otherwise. 

I'm not one of those people to beg you to do anything, but I highly encourage you to check out the two links I provided up top, they're very thought-provoking and maybe they'll guide you when it comes to making donations toward worthwhile charities. In fact, go here for a comprehensive rundown of who does what the best among the vast ocean of non-profits vying for your attention.

To reiterate, I'm not saying ignore the message and don't donate to charity, just be aware of the purpose of the message. 

The serious pregame talk is out of the way, let's get to some snarky prognostication!

Last week: 12-3! (Lester 0-1)
Season: 40-36 (Lester 1-3)

 

  • Speaking of blatant money grabs by the NFL, Thursday Night Football is maybe the most egregious of them all. I completely agree with Arian Foster; the NFL is only pretending to care about player safety. They want to expand the schedule and if they could, they would have a game on every night of the week. These Thursday games have been awful and the biggest factor behind the poor play is likely fatigue. On a personal note, I really hate being under the gun to get this column out every Thursday morning, I HAVE A LIFE, GOODELL.
  • Lester looks to make a huge comeback, ala the Browns. Gee, wonder who he'll pick?
  • Nobody circles the wagons like Tom Brady and the...wait a second! I'm supposed to say that about the Bills!
  • I think this is the beginning of the Bengals' yearly swoon.

 

  • Titans are out for vengeance after a completely disheartening loss last week. Jaguars are just the cure.
  • Aaron Rodgers looks like Aaron Rodgers again. Look out, Dolphins.
  • Still not sure what to make of the Lions, so I went old school and flipped a coin. Coin said Lions. Literally.
  • This would be the upset of the year thus far. You know, if the Jets weren't a pile of crap that craps, then eats that crap and craps out more crap. I went too far.

  • I'm picking the Ravens just because the Buccaneers completely jack up the formatting when I make these pictures.
  • There's an old joke about the Raiders not being able to beat anyone, but given the climate around domestic violence I won't venture there. You can google it if you're curious.
  • I'm already off the Falcons. I'm done, you hear me!? I hope Jay Cutler throws five touchdown passes then sleeps with all your wives.
  • I was sooooooo tempted to pick the Cowboys. That big thumbs up next to the Seahawks is the equivalent of pulling a David Simms. I didn't go Roy McAvoy for this pick.  

  • Let's table that talk about Kirk Cousins being the true quarterback for Washington, shall we?
  • I like what the Giants are doing and this should be a good game but I'm sticking with those high flying Eagles.
  • This Monday Night Game looked a lot better when Sam Bradford's leg was still in one piece.





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