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Thursday, 18 December 2014

The Great NFL Pigskin Pick 'Em: Week Sixteen

Week 16 has arrived and we are down to the last two games of the NFL season. Time has absolutely flown by, hasn't it?

It's also great that the games still matter to just about every team in both conferences. No one has officially clinched a top playoff seed, so there's still a lot on the line. Hell, the NFC could very well have one or even TWO teams on the outside looking in with 10 or more wins. 

Then there are teams that are squarely looking toward next year. It's redundant to point toward the Jaguars, Raiders or Titans, they've been looking to next year for about the past four years. After a series of miserable performances, my Browns are about ten miracles shy of the playoffs and while everyone is freaking out over Johnny Maziel's bad debut, we still have to see what he can do. Side note for crazy Browns fans; better quarterbacks have had worse debuts. Relax.

Sources indicate that Jim Harbaugh has already begun recruiting his new team and alma mater, Michigan, though he seems to still be on the sidelines in San Francisco. This soap opera has been ongoing pretty much since the preseason and it's been gaining a lot of steam now that the 49ers have been eliminated from the playoffs. My guess is he ends up in Oakland and Michigan loses yet again.

The Bears are in free fall mode and it wouldn't be surprising if Jay Cutler, the coaching staff and general manager were all let go at the end of the season. The Rams made the last several games interesting but they are do some big changes, likely at quarterback. Maybe the biggest question mark heading into next season in the entire NFL, certainly up in the Twin Cities, is who is Teddy Bridgewater going to hand the ball off to next season?

Those questions will be answered soon enough but for now, let's stick to the picks and the teams that are still alive in this thing.

Last week: 10-6 (Lester 0-1)
Season: 138-92-1 (Lester 5-9)

  • We have another contender for the lowest rated primetime game of the year! Seriously, cancel these stupid Thursday night games and go back to having good match ups on Monday Night Football.
  • I hate to break this to Jay Gruden, but the first year coach usually loses the battle with the franchise quarterback that was worth a king’s ransom.
  • If I was a fan of the 49ers, I would hope the front office has the next Bill Walsh secured after Jim Harbaugh gets run out of Santa Clara.
  • I’m not suggesting people under investigation for serious felonies should be allowed to play football, but where would the Vikings be with a certain #28 in the backfield?


  • Hope Joe Flacco’s got his juju beans ready. Some Snocaps, perhaps?
  • Jay Cutler is literally having the exact same season he had last year when the Bears gave him $60 million, except now it’s earned him a spot on the bench. Desperation is a stinky cologne. Don’t believe me? Take a look.
  • John Elway’s first career start: 1/8, 14 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT. Joe Montana’s first career start: 5/12, 36 yards, 0 TD, 0 INT. Brett Favre’s first career start: 8/14, 73 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT. Everyone in Cleveland, media especially, needs to take a collective chill pill in regards to Johnny Manziel.
  • Saints because I don’t know anything about the NFC South anymore.


  • I wish I could Lambeau Leap every time I did something good at work. I’d even crank up Todd Rundgren on my phone while I did it to really get the full effect.
  • Asking Alex Smith to rise to the occasion and beat the Steelers on the road might be too big of a Christmas wish.
  • No butt fumbles in this game. Just a real hard ass kicking.
  • *Flips a coin* Rams it is!


  • Chris Berman is practically having a seizure over the one liners he’s writing for the highlights of this game.  
  • Let’s see if Lester can finish the season strong.
  • The Cardinals are another injury away from giving Jake Plummer a call. Bruce Arians should win Coach of the Year in a landslide.
  • I hope those diarrhea-sludge eating yokels from Cincinnati lose by 50. 


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