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Friday, 17 October 2014

The Great NFL Pigskin Pick 'Em: Week Seven

Week seven has arrived! We are now almost halfway through the season and that means two things:

  • Time to start piecing the early playoff picture for both conferences together.
  • I’m also doing some research for how I would redesign the logo for every single team in the NFL.

Barring a miraculous turn around from a downtrodden team or an unseen winning streak from a meddling club, the game film, stats and our eyes don’t lie when it comes to breaking teams down. 

In other words, by midseason, you are what you eat

It shouldn’t be too surprising then that my prediction abilities have rounded into better shape, unlike my waistline. As the weeks go on, these games do get easier to pick. Which is why I’m baffled when the talking heads on ESPN, FOX, CBS, etc., have losing records in their picks or struggle to get above .500. 

I know, I shouldn’t say anything since I was costing people out there their hard earned cash, but then again, why are you listening to a guy who uses his dog to make picks? Speaking of dogs, Lester had his bye week this week so there will be four fewer legs and slightly less fur in this edition of the Pigskin Pick ‘Em.   

For your artistic enjoyment, and mine as well, here are some NFL logo designs that are minimalist in nature. They’re a pretty cool take on the current logos and if I were even remotely artistic, I’m sure I could make something half as cool. On to the picks!

Last Week: 13-1-1 (Lester 1-0)
Season: 53-37-1 (Lester 2-3)

  • What mind-numbingly awful play is Geno Smith going to pull out of his bag of tricks to embarrass the Jets on national tv? Mark Sanchez would like to know! 
  • Combine my hatred of the Ravens with my now complete disdain for the Falcons and I’m not sure there’s a game I’m less interested in watching.
  • Wait, check that. This is the game I have no interest in watching. This is like drinking flat, room temperature diet coke with a side of stale saltines.
  • I’m fairly certain the Seahawks aren’t going to let the Rams pull one over on them.


  • My personal lock of the week. I’d tell you to put the deed of your house down on the Browns to easily seal up this game but then again I’m homeless. Heed my advice with caution.
  • How about a bonus lock of the week? The Colts are going to twist the proverbial ankles right off the Bengals. 
  • If the Vikings and the Bills ever met in a Super Bowl (combined 0-8), I’d have to guess that the Steelers would somehow win it.
  • Two decades ago, this would have been a premier matchup. Side note: 10-year-old me loved the Dolphins for some reason, probably because I loved that bright aqua color and the fact the dolphin on their helmet WORE A HELMET. I was a stupid 10-year-old.


  • Lions bring the defense but something tells me they’re going to add a few crucial missed field goals to their misery in that department.
  • Aaron Rodgers is like, good, man.
  • Now that the Royals are in the World Series, the residents of Kansas City are likely going to extend their collective indifference for the Chiefs for another two weeks at least.
  • I picked out the music for the Raiders season highlight reel thus far. I think it fits.


  • Can’t believe that without the least bit of hesitation I put a big green thumbs up next to the Cowboys. 2014 has been a weird year.
  • While this is a worthwhile Sunday Night Football matchup I’m not sure I can pull myself away from The Walking Dead long enough to see any snaps. I mean, did you see the season premiere? DID YOU SEE IT?
  • Is Jadeveon Clowney back yet? I want the Texans to tear Big Ben’s arms off. 


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